Gone with the wind

Never in my life, despite years of swimming outdoors, in the rain, in the wind, in the morning fog in Southern California -- did I ever have an ear infection this bad.

One morning last week, just out of bed, a pain started in my left ear. I thought I had just slept on it funny. But I went to work and it would not go away. My French colleague told me to take an Ibuprofen and to go see a doctor as soon as possible. I laughed at the time, but took her advice later when the Ibuprofen wore off.

My doctor took a quick look and diagnosed it as an otite exterieur. She sent me away with Ibuprofen and ear drops that contained antibiotics and cortizone.

Next day, no change. I call her. The pain is pretty bad. Is it OK if I take Paracetamol in between doses of Ibuprofen? Oui. OK. Another day passes. The pain was not going away. I call her. You said on the prescription that I would only need 2 days of Ibuprofen. Now we're going onto 3 days. Faut etre patiente. OK. The weekend comes and goes. For me, it crawled by because I was houseridden and I was holding my ear most of the time. Sunday night rolls around. I stop taking the painkillers just to see how my ear is doing. It is hard not to grimace every 30 seconds. My son thinks I am dying and he says he wants to cry for me. I joke with him and he relaxes. But it is not really funny. I resolve to complain to my doctor next morning in the strongest French tones I can manage.

So she sent me to an ear-nose-throat specialist last Monday, who said I have an otite serreuse labyrinthine, or something to that effect. She seemed excited to have such an advanced case. Her excitement made me feel kind of useful, in a scientific kind of way. But then she gave me a hearing test and said I lost 60% of the hearing in my left ear. She did not seem terribly optimistic that I will get it back, or at least, not all of it. Super. I'm going to be partially deaf.

She gave me 6 different drugs to take and one nose-spray. Usually I am quite wary of pill-popping. But now that I'm a bit desperate, I've left all caution to the wind.

Speaking of wind. The French believe it's the wind that causes les otites. Our French granny Memere Monique believes kids get sick because of air circulating in one's home. She can often be heard saying, "Y'a un courant d'air!" (There is a wind tunnel!) and then off she scurries to shut all the doors. French moms cover their children's ears and necks like there are ghosts in the wind that could tear off their heads. I do not know if this wind theory is urban legend or if there is some truth in it. What is true is there are many winds here and particularly in our region, there is one that always seems to be blowing.

I have a colleague who comes from Morocco who lost 80% of his hearing (in one ear) due to an otite four years ago. That is crazy. He is a full-grown person, his only crime was not to wear a hat with earflaps. Us poor foreigners, we don't know about French winds. We come and settle in your beautiful country and think it's nice and warm, let's uncover our heads, and then it's all too horribly late.

Currently, I can hear my breathing. Like I'm scuba diving. I hear my ear pop a little when I swallow (an improvement). But when I talk, I hear my voice as an echo from the other side of a long, dark cave.

I have a followup appointment with the specialist next Monday. Let's hope...