We spent New Year's in Perpignan, where it got up to 18 C (65 F)

Thursday 7 August 2008

Blesséd Monday

This is perhaps the first time in my life I am eagerly awaiting Monday's arrival. Monday will fly from France and touch down at 18:20, it will take a train and another train and then a bus and then it will come through the door and give us a big hug. We can't wait for Monday.

(Papa found us a flat and is coming home!)

"That's what they mean by the credit crunch."

Monday we had some bad news. The buyer can't afford the deposit required by the lender, as their lender increased the equity requirements (I heard it was above 20% now). So the buyer is trying to remortgage their current property to get the extra cash. We don't know how long that will take. The buyer has not been returning the estate agent's phone calls.

When I spoke to Doreen at the estate agent's today, she said, "This is what they mean by the credit crunch. It means the deposits get bigger. And then people can't come up with it, so the market slows down." Oh. I see. So this is how a macro economic trend can become a very real pain in the neck for little people like me.

We are a little worried. We wonder if we are making a huge mistake. Hubbie is feeling low and lonely out there alone. I am feeling tired and starting to warm to the idea of renting the flat rather than selling it. And if we go down that route, there is so much to be done to figure out how much we would have to rent it for in order to at least break even. The letting agents would charge 13% for managing the rent and property, the government would tax us as it's unearned income, we would need contents insurance, we would need to switch to interest-only payments rather than repaying the mortgage (£77), we would need to pay a £225 admin fee to the mortgage provider to apply to change our flat to a rented property. The costs add up, and I am not sure anyone would want to pay that much to rent our flat.

And did I mention I was logitically challenged?

So we need to trust God more than ever. I feel the quite natural impulse to rush around saving our plans to move, saving our savings, saving us. It would be a lie if I said I was trusting in the sovereignty of God right now. I am doubting now that he ever wanted us to move. We speak of seeing signs and confirmations from God as if we could know him in that way, his detailed thoughts and desires for our lives. We did that when we had an offer, we did that when we found a good Protestant church in the town we want to move to. But we never really know, do we? All we as believers can truly cling to is the fact he loves us and wants what's best for us, and in the end, in the very end of all things, it will all be made right. In the end this glitch in the market and glitch in our life plans will be put into its place, put into an eternal perspective. It's just a bit of a struggle doing that just now.

Saturday 2 August 2008

Papa

Hubbie left today for the south of France, to find us a flat. We parked the car and walked up the stairs to the station. We waited 10 minutes for the next train. I cried a little because I knew how much I would miss him. My 15-month-old son doesn't understand departures really; he just observed the trains with interest. He did not wave goodbye as he watched his Papa disappear behind the train doors, and he did not understand why I ran after the train a little ways with him in my arms.

An hour later in the park, he looked up at the spot on the bridge where his Papa often pokes his head out to play peekaboo with him. "Papa," he said, pointing his chubby finger and squinting into the fading sunlight. I wanted to cry. Hopefully it won't take too long to find a flat, and Papa will be back soon.